THE DOCTOR'S DIAGNOSIS
"So you expressed no opinion? explained nothing? let him go on believing that? Oh, ****y! And you might have said so much!"In the quiet of the Scotch Sabbath morning, Jane and the doctor had climbed the winding path from the end of the terrace, which zigzagged up to a clearing amongst the pines.Two fallen trees at a short distance from each other provided convenient seats in full sunshine, facing a glorious view,--down into the glen, across the valley, and away to the purple hills beyond.The doctor had guided Jane to the sunnier of the two trunks, and seated himself beside her.Then he had quietly recounted practically the whole of the conversation of the previous evening.
"I expressed no opinion.I explained nothing.I let him continue to believe what he believes; because it is the only way to keep you on the pinnacle where he has placed you.Let any other reason for your conduct than an almost infantine ignorance of men and things be suggested and accepted, and down you will come, my poor Jane, and great will be the fall.Mine shall not be the hand thus to hurl you headlong.As you say, I might have said so much, but I might also have lived to regret it.""I should fall into his arms," said Jane recklessly, "and I would sooner be there than on a pinnacle.""Excuse me, my good girl," replied the doctor."It is more likely you would fall into the first express going south.In fact, I am not certain you would wait for an express.I can almost see the Honourable Jane quitting yonder little railway station, seated in an empty coal-truck.No! Don't start up and attempt to stride about among the pine needles," continued the doctor, pulling Jane down beside him again."You will only trip over a fir cone and go headlong into the valley.It is no use forestalling the inevitable fall.""Oh, ****y," sighed Jane, putting her hand through his arm; and leaning her bandaged eyes against the rough tweed of his shoulder;"I don't know what has come to you to-day.You are not kind to me.
You have harrowed my poor soul by repeating all Garth said last night; and, thanks to that terribly good memory of yours, you have reproduced the tones of his voice in every inflection.And then, instead of comforting me, you leave me entirely in the wrong, and completely in the lurch.""In the wrong--yes," said Deryck; "in the lurch--no.I did not say Iwould do nothing to-day.I only said I could do nothing last night.
You cannot take up a wounded thing and turn it about and analyse it.
When we bade each other good-night, I told him I would think the matter over and give him my opinion to-day.I will tell you what has happened to me if you like.I have looked into the inmost recesses of a very rare and beautiful nature, and I have seen what havoc a woman can work in the life of the man who loves her.I can assure you, last night was no pastime.I woke this morning feeling as if Ihad, metaphorically, been beaten black and blue.""Then what do you suppose _I_ feel?" inquired Jane pathetically.
"You still feel yourself in the right--partly," replied Deryck."And so long as you think you have a particle of justification and cling to it, your case is hopeless.It will have to be: 'I confess.Can you forgive?'""But I acted for the best," said Jane."I thought of him before Ithought of myself.It would have been far easier to have accepted the happiness of the moment, and chanced the future.""That is not honest, Jeanette.You thought of yourself first.You dared not face the possibility of the pain to you if his love cooled or his admiration waned.When one comes to think of it, I believe every form of human love--a mother's only excepted--is primarily selfish.The best chance for Dalmain is that his helpless blindness may awaken the mother love in you.Then self will go to the wall.""Ah me!" sighed Jane."I am lost and weary and perplexed in this bewildering darkness.Nothing seems clear; nothing seems right.If Icould see your kind eyes, Boy, your hard voice would hurt less.""Well, take off the bandage and look," said the doctor.
"I will not!" cried Jane furiously."Have I gone through all this to fail at the last?""My dear girl, this self-imposed darkness is getting on your nerves.
Take care it does not do more harm than good.Strong remedies--""Hush!" whispered Jane."I hear footsteps.""You can always hear footsteps in a wood if you hearken for them,"said the doctor; but he spoke low, and then sat quiet, listening.
"I hear Garth's step," whispered Jane."Oh, ****y, go to the edge and look over.You can see the windings of the path below."The doctor stepped forward quietly and looked down upon the way they had ascended.Then he came back to Jane.
"Yes," he said."Fortune favours us.Dalmain is coming up the path with Simpson.He will be here in two minutes.""Fortune favours us? My dear ****y! Of all mis-chances!" Jane's hand flew to her bandage, but the doctor stayed her just in time.
"Not at all," he said."And do not fail at the last in your experiment.I ought to be able to keep you two blind people apart.
Trust me, and keep dark--I mean, sit still.And can you not understand why I said fortune favours us? Dalmain is coming for my opinion on the case.You shall hear it together.It will be a saving of time for me, and most enlightening for you to mark how he takes it.Now keep quiet.I promise he shall not sit on your lap.But if you make a sound, I shall have to say you are a bunny or a squirrel, and throw fir cones at you."The doctor rose and sauntered round the bend of the path.
Jane sat on in darkness.
"Hullo, Dalmain," she heard Deryck say."Found your way up here? An ideal spot.Shall we dispense with Simpson? Take my arm.""Yes," replied Garth."I was told you were up here, Brand, and followed you."They came round the bend together, and out into the clearing.
"Are you alone?" asked Garth standing still."I thought I heard voices.""You did," replied the doctor."I was talking to a young woman.""What sort of young woman?" asked Garth.
