Even as I present Thee before Thy heavenly Father,so do I present Thy pure tender mother before Thee.Look at her mild eyes which so often looked kindly on Thee;behold Those fair cheeks which she so often affectionately pressed to Thy infant face.O look at her sweet mouth which used to kiss Thee so fondly and tenderly again and again.Look at her pure hands which so often ministered to Thee.O Thou goodness above all goodness,how canst thou deny anything to her who suckled Thee so affectionately and bore Thee in her arms;who laid Thee to rest,wakened Thee and tenderly reared Thee!O Lord,let me remind Thee of all the love Thou ever didst experience from her in Thy childhood's days,when Thou didst sit in her motherly lap,and with Thy playful eyes didst laugh so pleasantly and tenderly in her face with that fathomless love Thou hadst for her above all other creatures!Think,too,of the heart-rending woe which her maternal heart endured with Thee under the gibbet of Thy miserable cross,where she saw Thee in the agony of death,and when her heart and soul so often died away in sorrow and distress with Thee.
Lord,I entreat Thee,for her sake,to grant me every means of shaking off my sins,of acquiring Thy grace,and never losing it again.
CHAPTER XVII.On The Unutterable Heart-Rending Grief of The Pure Queen of Heaven The Servant.
--Who will give my eyes as many tears as there are letters,so that with bright tears I may write down the miserable tears of the unfathomable heart-rending grief of my Blessed Lady?Pure Lady and noble Queen of Heaven and Earth,touch my stony heart with one of thy scalding tears,one of those which thou didst shed in bitter distress for thy tender Child under the wretched cross,so that my heart of stone may be softened,and may hearken to thee;for heart-rending grief is of such a nature,that no one can have a true knowledge of it,except him whom it touches.Touch then my heart,O Lady Elect,with thy sorrowful words,and tell me in short significant terms,simply as an admonition,how it was with thee in thy mind,and how thou didst support thyself at the foot of the cross,when thou didst behold thy tender Child,the beautiful and tender Wisdom,so lamentably expire.
Answer.--Thou shouldst hearken to it with sorrow and heartfelt woe;for although I am now exempt from suffering,yet,at that time I was not.Before I had reached the foot of the cross,I had endured many a great unspeakable anguish of heart,especially at the spot where I first caught sight of the beating,kicking,and ill-usage of my Child,on beholding which my strength forsook me,and thus helpless was I carried after my dear Son to the foot of the cross.But,in respect of what thou askest,how I felt in my mind,and how I supported myself,listen to as much as it is possible for thee to know;for the whole no heart that ever was made can fathom.Understand,then,that all the sorrow that ever could afflict a heart would only be as a drop in the ocean compared to the unfathomable sorrow which my maternal heart at that time endured;and,understand,at the same time,that the dearer,the sweeter,the more precious the beloved one is,the more insupportable is his loss and death.Now,where on the whole earth was there ever a more tender one born,a lovelier one seen than my own best beloved one,Jesus Christ,by whom and in whom I had entire possession of all that the world could bestow?I was already dead to myself,and lived only in Him,and when at last my own fair love was slain,then only did I utterly die;
and,as my only love was but one,and,moreover,dear to me above all other loves,so my only sorrow was but one,and a sorrow above all sorrows that ever were expressed.His fair and gentle humanity was,to me,a delightful spectacle;His dignified divinity was,to my eyes,a sweet contemplation;to think of Him was my heart's delight;to speak of Him was my pastime;to hear His sweet words was music to my soul.He was my heart's mirror,my soul's comfort;heaven and earth,and all that is in them,I possessed in His sweet presence.Lo,when I saw my love suspended in mortal agony before me,alas,the sight!Alas,what a moment was that!How died my heart within me!How was my courage extinguished!How did my strength fail me!I looked up,but I could not help my child.I looked down,and saw only those who so cruelly ill-used Him.O how narrow then to me was all this world!I had lost all heart;my voice had died from me;I had,moreover,lost all strength and yet,when I came to myself,I raised thy feeble voice,and spoke to my Child,complaining,such words as these:Alas,my Child!Alas,thou Child of mine!Alas,my heart's delightful mirror,in which I have so often taken delight to behold myself,how do I now see Thee miserably suspended before me!Alas,thou treasure above all this world!My mother,my father,and all that my heart can express (such art Thou to me),take me with Thee!Or,to whom wilt Thou leave Thy wretched mother?Oh,who will permit me to die for Thee,to suffer for Thee this bitter death?Oh,misery and distress of a love-torn mother,how am I robbed of all joy,of all love,of all consolation!Oh,thou greedy death,why sparest thou me?Take,take away the poor mother with her poor Child;to her,to live is bitterer than to die!
