登陆注册
26504000000057

第57章 WORK WITHOUT HOPE(2)

'I will never mention Milvain's name again,' said Amy coldly.

'Now that's ridiculous, and you know it.'

'I feel the same about your irritation. I can't see that I have given any cause for it.'

'Then we'll talk no more of the matter.'

Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book. Amy never asked him to resume his intention of reading what he had written.

However, the paper was accepted. It came out in The Wayside for March, and Reardon received seven pounds ten for it. By that time he had written another thing of the same gossipy kind, suggested by Pliny's Letters. The pleasant occupation did him good, but there was no possibility of pursuing this course. 'Margaret Home'

would be published in April; he might get the five-and-twenty pounds contingent upon a certain sale, yet that could in no case be paid until the middle of the year, and long before then he would be penniless. His respite drew to an end.

But now he took counsel of no one; as far as it was possible he lived in solitude, never seeing those of his acquaintances who were outside the literary world, and seldom even his colleagues.

Milvain was so busy that he had only been able to look in twice or thrice since Christmas, and Reardon nowadays never went to Jasper's lodgings.

He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his married life, though how the events which were to express this ruin would shape themselves he could not foresee. Amy was revealing that aspect of her character to which he had been blind, though a practical man would have perceived it from the first; so far from helping him to support poverty, she perhaps would even refuse to share it with him. He knew that she was slowly drawing apart; already there was a divorce between their minds, and he tortured himself in uncertainty as to how far he retained her affections. A word of tenderness, a caress, no longer met with response from her; her softest mood was that of mere comradeship. All the warmth of her nature was expended upon the child; Reardon learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a share in her offspring.

He was beginning to dislike the child. But for Willie's existence Amy would still love him with undivided heart; not, perhaps, so passionately as once, but still with lover's love. And Amy understoed --or, at all events, remarked--this change in him.

She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie, and that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little fellow's progress. In part offended, she was also in part pleased.

But for the child, mere poverty, he said to himself, should never have sundered them. In the strength of his passion he could have overcome all her disappointments; and, indeed, but for that new care, he would most likely never have fallen to this extremity of helplessness. It is natural in a weak and sensitive man to dream of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance. For one hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties, Reardon spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might have been.

Even yet, it needed but a little money to redeem all. Amy had no extravagant aspirations; a home of ****** refinement and ******* from anxiety would restore her to her nobler self. How could he find fault with her? She knew nothing of such sordid life as he had gone through, and to lack money for necessities seemed to her degrading beyond endurance. Why, even the ordinary artisan's wife does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past year. For lack of that little money his life must be ruined. Of late he had often thought about the rich uncle, John Yule, who might perhaps leave something to Amy; but the hope was so uncertain. And supposing such a thing were to happen; would it be perfectly easy to live upon his wife's bounty--perhaps exhausting a small capital, so that, some years hence, their position would be no better than before? Not long ago, he could have taken anything from Amy's hand; would it be so ****** since the change that had come between them?

Having written his second magazine-article (it was rejected by two editors, and he had no choice but to hold it over until sufficient time had elapsed to allow of his again trying The Wayside), he saw that he must perforce plan another novel. But this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes. The advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were abandoning that procrustean system; hopeless as he was, he might as well try his chance with a book which could be written in a few weeks. And why not a glaringly artificial story with a sensational title? It could not be worse than what he had last written.

So, without a word to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual work and began once more the search for a 'plot.' This was towards the end of February. The proofs of 'Margaret Home' were coming in day by day; Amy had offered to correct them, but after all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as possible, and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after sheet. His imagination did not work the more happily for this repugnant task; still, he hit at length upon a conception which seemed absurd enough for the purpose before him. Whether he could persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was very doubtful. But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his wife and child to penury without one effort of the kind that Milvain and Amy herself had recommended.

Writing a page or two of manuscript daily, and with several holocausts to retard him, he had done nearly a quarter of the story when there came a note from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvain's death. He handed it across the breakfast-table to Amy, and watched her as she read it.

'I suppose it doesn't alter his position,' Amy remarked, without much interest.

'I suppose not appreciably. He told me once his mother had a sufficient income; but whatever she leaves will go to his sisters, I should think. He has never said much to me.'

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 无月卿

    无月卿

    卿无月,官阶最高的人;无月卿,年纪轻轻就能够呼风唤雨,没人清楚他的真名,但他一贯的作风让人很容易知道,无月卿来过。
  • 白云集

    白云集

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 重生之唐华

    重生之唐华

    【重生文,男女主身心干净,一生一世一双人。】她大概是大唐最倒霉的一个公主,在扬州痴等驸马八载,却迎来她“已亡”的消息,随之而来的竟然是她的驸马另娶她人,而新娘竟是她自幼爱护的异母妹妹!最后她中毒身亡,落得个家破人亡的凄惨结局!许是上天垂怜,让她重生到十岁。重新归来,她不再是前世那个懦弱任人欺负的公主,而是前来索命的恶鬼!
  • 天才中医生

    天才中医生

    大医精诚,天行健,君子以自强不息!要把中医文化向世界输出!
  • 怒离

    怒离

    千百年的规则,千万年的流逝,天才的争锋,血泪为谁而流,又是为谁掌断山河脚踏星辰,平凡的修仙世界一片祥和直到有一天这个平凡的世界在也不平凡了世界在改变天才不在千百年难得一见
  • 论花瓶到真女神的进化史

    论花瓶到真女神的进化史

    3926年10月10日,人们无法忘记这个日子。那一日,大地发怒,巍巍群山一座接一座的崩塌!滔滔江水呼啸着掀起巨浪。雷声翻滚白雪纷飞,接着天地昏暗仿佛相交聚合连接!人们一个一个倒下,可怕的以人为食的怪物在街上游荡!人间地狱!亲人离散孤身一人的林渺渺靠着等级并不高的铁元素异能在末日挣扎。在一次物资收集中林渺渺被丧尸咬破了脖子。绝望的林渺渺意外得到了一个快穿系统。机缘不可放过,林渺渺借着系统穿越到一个个世界里完成任务,升级技能,然后在末日崛起!【有cp,女主不圣母男主不会弱,快穿+末世】【日更2000_(:_」∠)_】
  • 地球科学家

    地球科学家

    萧逸凡是个大学生,同时也是个商人,毕生理念:看的顺眼的白送,看不顺眼的黑死你!不过这都是他的兼职,他的真正职业是——旅行和探险!浩瀚星空,无穷天宇,任他遨游!不过萧逸凡最主要目的还是想寻求一个答案。这个答案就是为什么在宇宙永恒的历史中从来没有出现过一个可以横行宇宙的种族?如果地球不出什么意外,几百上千年后,可以征服浩瀚星空吗?亦或是像那些外星遗迹一样,等到科技发展到一定阶段而神秘消亡呢?~~我们的主人公萧逸凡在被害后居然走了狗屎运,被一架即将陨落的外星飞船所救。从此地球的命运发生了未知的改变!新书出炉,寻求意见!只要是本书的缺点,大家尽管提出来!
  • 叱咤风云:血月弥漫

    叱咤风云:血月弥漫

    依风原本是一个拥有泫质体质的少年,却因一次与朋友出去游玩,遭到吸血鬼的袭击。原本过着普通生活的他,将走向一条全新的鲜红的血色之路!
  • 替嫁新娘:这个总裁超完美

    替嫁新娘:这个总裁超完美

    姐姐逃婚,她成为了替嫁新娘,一时之间,姐夫变丈夫。她成为了所有人嘲讽的对象,也成为了他心头的一根刺。殊不知,这十年来,与他心意相通的人是她,与他互通邮件的人是她,甚至说着爱他的人也是她。只是,他从来都以为,那个人是她姐姐而已。她深藏秘密,然而他却误会她至深。当得知真相那一刻,他幡然悔悟,才知心中深爱到底是谁,展开了漫漫追妻路。
  • 平天志

    平天志

    一个被父亲放弃的孩子一个母亲不曾知晓的孩子在出生那年,被家族种入百年的诅咒他在深狱中囚禁十六年在生命中最后第四年的秋天他走出牢笼而后一鸣惊天!