"Surely," he urged with passion, "surely I have a right to remind you of the kiss!"She turned."The kiss," she said meditatively."Yes, you have a right to remind me of it.Oh, yes, an undoubted right.
You have another right too--the right to have the kiss explained to you.It was of the good-bye order.It signified that we weren't to meet again, and that just for one little moment I permitted myself to be sorry for you.That was all."He held himself erect under the incredible words, and gazed blankly at her.The magnitude of what he confronted bewildered him; his mind was incapable of taking it in.
"You mean--" he started to say, and then stopped, helplessly staring into her face, with a dropped jaw.
It was too much to try to think what she meant.
A little side-thought sprouted in the confusion of his brain.It grew until it spread a bitter smile over his pale face."I know so little about kisses,"he said; "I am such a greenhorn at that sort of thing.
You should have had pity on my inexperience, and told me just what brand of kiss it was I was getting.
Probably I ought to have been able to distinguish, but you see I was brought up in the country--on a farm.
They don't have kisses in assorted varieties there."She bowed her head slightly."Yes, you are entitled to say that," she assented."I was to blame, and it is quite fair that you should tell me so.You spoke of your inexperience, your innocence.That was why I kissed you in saying good-bye.It was in memory of that innocence of yours, to which you yourself had been busy saying good-bye ever since I first saw you.
The idea seemed to me to mean something at the moment.
I see now that it was too subtle.I do not usually err on that side."Theron kept his hold upon her gaze, as if it afforded him bodily support.He felt that he ought to stoop and take up his hat, but he dared not look away from her.
"Do you not err now, on the side of cruelty?" he asked her piteously.
It seemed for the instant as if she were wavering, and he swiftly thrust forth other pleas."I admit that Idid wrong to follow you to New York.I see that now.
But it was an offence committed in entire good faith.
Think of it, Celia! I have never seen you since that day--that day in the woods.I have waited--and waited--with no sign from you, no chance of seeing you at all.
Think what that meant to me! Everything in the world had been altered for me, torn up by the roots.I was a new being, plunged into a new existence.The kiss had done that.
But until saw you again, I could not tell whether this vast change in me and my life was for good or for bad--whether the kiss had come to me as a blessing or a curse.
The suspense was killing me, Celia! That is why, when I learned that you were coming here, I threw everything to the winds and followed you.You blame me for it, and I bow my head and accept the blame.
But are you justified in punishing me so terribly--in going on after I have confessed my error, and cutting my heart into little strips, putting me to death by torture?""Sit down," said Celia, with a softened weariness in her voice.She seated herself in front of him as he sank into his chair again."I don't want to give you unnecessary pain, but you have insisted on forcing yourself into a position where there isn't anything else but pain.
I warned you to go away, but you wouldn't.No matter how gently I may try to explain things to you, you are bound to get nothing but suffering out of the explanation.
Now shall I still go on?"
He inclined his head in token of assent, and did not lift it again, but raised toward her a disconsolate gaze from a pallid, drooping face.
"It is all in a single word, Mr.Ware," she proceeded, in low tones."I speak for others as well as myself, mind you--we find that you are a bore."Theron's stiffened countenance remained immovable.
He continued to stare unblinkingly up into her eyes.
"We were disposed to like you very much when we first knew you," Celia went on."You impressed us as an innocent, ******, genuine young character, full of mother's milk.
It was like the smell of early spring in the country to come in contact with you.Your honesty of nature, your sincerity in that absurd religion of yours, your general NAIVETE of mental and spiritual get-up, all pleased us a great deal.
We thought you were going to be a real acquisition.""Just a moment--whom do you mean by 'we'?" He asked the question calmly enough, but in a voice with an effect of distance in it.
"It may not be necessary to enter into that," she replied.
"Let me go on.But then it became apparent, little by little, that we had misjudged you.We liked you, as I have said, because you were unsophisticated and delightfully fresh and natural.Somehow we took it for granted you would stay so.Rut that is just what you didn't do--just what you hadn't the sense to try to do.Instead, we found you inflating yourself with all sorts of egotisms and vanities.
We found you presuming upon the friendships which had been mistakenly extended to you.Do you want instances?
You went to Dr.Ledsmar's house that very day after Ihad been with you to get a piano at Thurston's, and tried to inveigle him into talking scandal about me.
You came to me with tales about him.You went to Father Forbes, and sought to get him to gossip about us both.Neither of those men will ever ask you inside his house again.But that is only one part of it.
Your whole mind became an unpleasant thing to contemplate.
