Her eyes fell on **** opposite her and she was both shocked and displeased. There were droppings of food all down the front of his coat;the mouth under the ragged ill-grown beard drooped sullenly; the forehead was lined and contracted; and on the lean temples the hair was a dusty indeterminate colour that might or might not have been called gray. The utter misery and self-abandonment of the man appealed to her, and at the bottom of her heart lay the wicked feeling that he was humbled and brought low who had once humbled her.
'Oh! it is good to hear you moving about,' said ****, rubbing his hands.
'Tell us all about your bar successes, Bessie, and the way you live now.'
'Never mind that. I'm quite respectable, as you'd see by looking at me.
You don't seem to live too well. What made you go blind that sudden?
Why isn't there any one to look after you?'
**** was too thankful for the sound of her voice to resent the tone of it.
'I was cut across the head a long time ago, and that ruined my eyes. Idon't suppose anybody thinks it worth while to look after me any more.
Why should they?--and Mr. Beeton really does everything I want.'
'Don't you know any gentlemen and ladies, then, while you was--well?'
'A few, but I don't care to have them looking at me.'
'I suppose that's why you've growed a beard. Take it off, it don't become you.'
'Good gracious, child, do you imagine that I think of what becomes of me these days?'
'You ought. Get that taken off before I come here again. I suppose I can come, can't I?'
'I'd be only too grateful if you did. I don't think I treated you very well in the old days. I used to make you angry.'
'Very angry, you did.'
'I'm sorry for it, then. Come and see me when you can and as often as you can. God knows, there isn't a soul in the world to take that trouble except you and Mr. Beeton.'
'A lot of trouble he's taking and she too.' This with a toss of the head.
'They've let you do anyhow and they haven't done anything for you. I've only to look and see that much. I'll come, and I'll be glad to come, but you must go and be shaved, and you must get some other clothes--those ones aren't fit to be seen.'
'I have heaps somewhere,' he said helplessly.
'I know you have. Tell Mr. Beeton to give you a new suit and I'll brush it and keep it clean. You may be as blind as a barn-door, Mr. Heldar, but it doesn't excuse you looking like a sweep.'
'Do I look like a sweep, then?'
'Oh, I'm sorry for you. I'm that sorry for you!' she cried impulsively, and took ****'s hands. Mechanically, he lowered his head as if to kiss--she was the only woman who had taken pity on him, and he was not too proud for a little pity now. She stood up to go.
'Nothing o' that kind till you look more like a gentleman. It's quite easy when you get shaved, and some clothes.'
He could hear her drawing on her gloves and rose to say good-bye. She passed behind him, kissed him audaciously on the back of the neck, and ran away as swiftly as on the day when she had destroyed the Melancolia.
'To think of me kissing Mr. Heldar,' she said to herself, 'after all he's done to me and all! Well, I'm sorry for him, and if he was shaved he wouldn't be so bad to look at, but . . . Oh them Beetons, how shameful they've treated him! I know Beeton's wearing his shirt on his back to-day just as well as if I'd aired it. To-morrow, I'll see . . . I wonder if he has much of his own. It might be worth more than the bar--I wouldn't have to do any work--and just as respectable as if no one knew.'
**** was not grateful to Bessie for her parting gift. He was acutely conscious of it in the nape of his neck throughout the night, but it seemed, among very many other things, to enforce the wisdom of getting shaved.
He was shaved accordingly in the morning, and felt the better for it. Afresh suit of clothes, white linen, and the knowledge that some one in the world said that she took an interest in his personal appearance made him carry himself almost upright; for the brain was relieved for a while from thinking of Maisie, who, under other circumstances, might have given that kiss and a million others.
'Let us consider,' said he, after lunch. 'The girl can't care, and it's a toss-up whether she comes again or not, but if money can buy her to look after me she shall be bought. Nobody else in the world would take the trouble, and I can make it worth her while. She's a child of the gutter holding brevet rank as a barmaid; so she shall have everything she wants if she'll only come and talk and look after me.' He rubbed his newly shorn chin and began to perplex himself with the thought of her not coming. 'I suppose I did look rather a sweep,' he went on. 'I had no reason to look otherwise. I knew things dropped on my clothes, but it didn't matter. It would be cruel if she didn't come. She must. Maisie came once, and that was enough for her. She was quite right. She had something to work for. This creature has only beer-handles to pull, unless she has deluded some young man into keeping company with her.
Fancy being cheated for the sake of a counter-jumper! We're falling pretty low.'
Something cried aloud within him:--This will hurt more than anything that has gone before. It will recall and remind and suggest and tantalise, and in the end drive you mad.
'I know it, I know it!' **** cried, clenching his hands despairingly; 'but, good heavens! is a poor blind beggar never to get anything out of his life except three meals a day and a greasy waistcoat? I wish she'd come.'
Early in the afternoon time she came, because there was no young man in her life just then, and she thought of material advantages which would allow her to be idle for the rest of her days.
'I shouldn't have known you,' she said approvingly. 'You look as you used to look--a gentleman that was proud of himself.'
'Don't you think I deserve another kiss, then?' said ****, flushing a little.
'Maybe--but you won't get it yet. Sit down and let's see what I can do for you. I'm certain sure Mr. Beeton cheats you, now that you can't go through the housekeeping books every month. Isn't that true?'
'You'd better come and housekeep for me then, Bessie.'
