At this point the conference broke up in disorder, because **** would not open his mouth till the Nilghai held his nose fast, and there was some trouble in forcing the nozzle of the bellows between his teeth; and even when it was there he weakly tried to puff against the force of the blast, and his cheeks blew up with a great explosion; and the enemy becoming helpless with laughter he so beat them over the head with a soft sofa cushion that that became unsewn and distributed its feathers, and Binkie, interfering in Torpenhow's interests, was bundled into the half-empty bag and advised to scratch his way out, which he did after a while, travelling rapidly up and down the floor in the shape of an agitated green haggis, and when he came out looking for satisfaction, the three pillars of his world were picking feathers out of their hair.
'A prophet has no honour in his own country,' said ****, ruefully, dusting his knees. 'This filthy fluff will never brush off my legs.'
'It was all for your own good,' said the Nilghai. 'Nothing like air and exercise.'
'All for your good,' said Torpenhow, not in the least with reference to past clowning. 'It would let you focus things at their proper worth and prevent your becoming slack in this hothouse of a town. Indeed it would, old man. I shouldn't have spoken if I hadn't thought so. Only, you make a joke of everything.'
'Before God I do no such thing,' said ****, quickly and earnestly. 'You don't know me if you think that.'
I don't think it,' said the Nilghai.
'How can fellows like ourselves, who know what life and death really mean, dare to make a joke of anything? I know we pretend it, to save ourselves from breaking down or going to the other extreme. Can't I see, old man, how you're always anxious about me, and try to advise me to make my work better? Do you suppose I don't think about that myself?
But you can't help me--you can't help me--not even you. I must play my own hand alone in my own way.'
'Hear, hear,' from the Nilghai.
'What's the one thing in the Nilghai Saga that I've never drawn in the Nungapunga Book?' **** continued to Torpenhow, who was a little astonished at the outburst.
Now there was one blank page in the book given over to the sketch that **** had not drawn of the crowning exploit in the Nilghai's life; when that man, being young and forgetting that his body and bones belonged to the paper that employed him, had ridden over sunburned slippery grass in the rear of Bredow's brigade on the day that the troopers flung themselves at Caurobert's artillery, and for aught they knew twenty battalions in front, to save the battered 24th German Infantry, to give time to decide the fate of Vionville, and to learn ere their remnant came back to Flavigay that cavalry can attack and crumple and break unshaken infantry. Whenever he was inclined to think over a life that might have been better, an income that might have been larger, and a soul that might have been considerably cleaner, the Nilghai would comfort himself with the thought, 'I rode with Bredow's brigade at Vionville,' and take heart for any lesser battle the next day might bring.
'I know,' he said very gravely. 'I was always glad that you left it out.'
'I left it out because Nilghai taught me what the Germany army learned then, and what Schmidt taught their cavalry. I don't know German.
What is it? "Take care of the time and the dressing will take care of itself." I must ride my own line to my own beat, old man.'
'Tempe ist richtung. You've learned your lesson well,' said the Nilghai.
'He must go alone. He speaks truth, Torp.'
'Maybe I'm as wrong as I can be--hideously wrong. I must find that out for myself, as I have to think things out for myself, but I daren't turn my head to dress by the next man. It hurts me a great deal more than you know not to be able to go, but I cannot, that's all. I must do my own work and live my own life in my own way, because I'm responsible for both.
Only don't think I frivol about it, Torp. I have my own matches and sulphur, and I'll make my own hell, thanks.'
There was an uncomfortable pause. Then Torpenhow said blandly, 'What did the Governor of North Carolina say to the Governor of South Carolina?'
'Excellent notion. It is a long time between drinks. There are the makings of a very fine prig in you, ****,' said the Nilghai.
'I've liberated my mind, estimable Binkie, with the feathers in his mouth.' **** picked up the still indignant one and shook him tenderly.
'You're tied up in a sack and made to run about blind, Binkie-wee, without any reason, and it has hurt your little feelings. Never mind. Sic volo, sic jubeo, stet pro ratione voluntas, and don't sneeze in my eye because I talk Latin. Good-night.'
He went out of the room.
'That's distinctly one for you,' said the Nilghai. 'I told you it was hopeless to meddle with him. He's not pleased.'
'He'd swear at me if he weren't. I can't make it out. He has the go-fever upon him and he won't go. I only hope that he mayn't have to go some day when he doesn't want to,' said Torpenhow.
* * * * * *
In his own room **** was settling a question with himself--and the question was whether all the world, and all that was therein, and a burning desire to exploit both, was worth one threepenny piece thrown into the Thames.
'It came of seeing the sea, and I'm a cur to think about it,' he decided.
'After all, the honeymoon will be that tour--with reservations; only . . . only I didn't realise that the sea was so strong. I didn't feel it so much when I was with Maisie. These damnable songs did it. He's beginning again.'
But it was only Herrick's Nightpiece to Julia that the Nilghai sang, and before it was ended **** reappeared on the threshold, not altogether clothed indeed, but in his right mind, thirsty and at peace.
The mood had come and gone with the rising and the falling of the tide by Fort Keeling.
