"General," says Talleyrand to him, "this gentleman has a habit of catching us canaille en deshabille. Put that thing down."
'Boney laid it on the table, so I guessed which was master.
Talleyrand takes my hand - "Charmed to see you again, Candide," he says. "How is the adorable Dr Pangloss and the noble Huron?"
'"They were doing very well when I left," I said. "But I'm not."
'"Do you sell buttons now?" he says, and fills me a glass of wine off the table.
'"Madeira," says he. "Not so good as some I have drunk."
'"You mountebank!" Boney roars. "Turn that out." (He didn't even say "man," but Talleyrand, being gentle born, just went on.)
'"Pheasant is not so good as pork," he says. "You will find some at that table if you will do me the honour to sit down. Pass him a clean plate, General." And, as true as I'm here, Boney slid a plate along just like a sulky child. He was a lanky-haired, yellow-skinned little man, as nervous as a cat - and as dangerous. I could feel that.
'"And now," said Talleyrand, crossing his game leg over his sound one, "will you tell me your story?"
'I was in a fluster, but I told him nearly everything from the time he left me the five hundred dollars in Philadelphia, up to my losing ship and cargo at Le Havre. Boney began by listening, but after a bit he dropped into his own thoughts and looked at the crowd sideways through the front-room curtains. Talleyrand called to him when I'd done.
'"Eh? What we need now," says Boney, "is peace for the next three or four years."
'"Quite so," says Talleyrand. "Meantime I want the Consul's order to the Prize Court at Le Havre to restore my friend here his ship."
'"Nonsense!" says Boney. "Give away an oak-built brig of two hundred and seven tons for sentiment? Certainly not! She must be armed into my Navy with ten - no, fourteen twelve-pounders and two long fours. Is she strong enough to bear a long twelve forward?"
'Now I could ha' sworn he'd paid no heed to my talk, but that wonderful head-piece of his seemingly skimmed off every word of it that was useful to him.
'"Ah, General!" says Talleyrand. "You are a magician - a magician without morals. But the brig is undoubtedly American, and we don't want to offend them more than we have. "
'"Need anybody talk about the affair?" he says. He didn't look at me, but I knew what was in his mind -just cold murder because I worried him; and he'd order it as easy as ordering his carriage.
'"You can't stop 'em," I said. "There's twenty-two other men besides me." I felt a little more 'ud set me screaming like a wired hare.
'"Undoubtedly American," Talleyrand goes on. "You would gain something if you returned the ship - with a message of fraternal good-will - published in the MONITEUR" (that's a French paper like the Philadelphia AURORA).
'"A good idea!" Boney answers. "One could say much in a message."
'"It might be useful," says Talleyrand. "Shall I have the message prepared?" He wrote something in a little pocket ledger.
'"Yes - for me to embellish this evening. The MONITEUR will publish it tonight."
'"Certainly. Sign, please," says Talleyrand, tearing the leaf out.
'"But that's the order to return the brig," says Boney. "Is that necessary? Why should I lose a good ship? Haven't I lost enough ships already?"
