Spilled milk draws few tears from an Anchurianadministration. Many are its lacteal sources； and the clocks’
hands point forever to milking time. Even the rich creamskimmed from the treasury by the bewitched Mirafloresdid not cause the newly installed patriots to waste time inunprofitable regrets. The government philosophically setabout supplying the deficiency by increasing the importduties and by “suggesting” to wealthy private citizensthat contributions according to their means would beconsidered patriotic and in order. Prosperity was expectedto attend the reign of Losada， the new president. Theousted office-holders and military favorites organized anew “Liberal” party， and began to lay their plans for a resuccession.
Thus the game of Anchurian politics began，like a Chinese comedy， to unwind slowly its serial length.
Here and there Mirth peeps for an instant from the wingsand illumines the florid lines.
A dozen quarts of champagne in conjunction with aninformal sitting of the president and his cabinet led to theestablishment of the navy and the appointment of FelipeCarrera as its admiral.
Next to the champagne the credit of the appointmentbelongs to Don Sabas Placido， the newly confirmedMinister of War.
The president had requested a convention of hiscabinet for the discussion of questions politic and for thetransaction of certain routine matters of state. The sessionhad been signally tedious； the business and the wineprodigiously dry. A sudden， prankish humor of Don Sabas，impelling him to the deed， spiced the grave affairs of statewith a whiff of agreeable playfulness. In the dilatory orderof business had come a bulletin from the coast departmentof Orilla del Mar reporting the seizure by the customhouseofficers at the town of Coralio of the sloop Estrelladel Noche and her cargo of drygoods， patent medicines，granulated sugar and three-star brandy. Also six Martinirifles and a barrel of American whiskey. Caught in the actof smuggling， the sloop with its cargo was now， accordingto law， the property of the republic.
The Collector of Customs， in making his report，departed from the conventional forms so far as to suggestthat the confiscated vessel be converted to the use ofthe government. The prize was the first capture to thecredit of the department in ten years. The collector tookopportunity to pat his department on the back.
It often happened that government officers requiredtransportation from point to point along the coast， andmeans were usually lacking. Furthermore， the sloop couldbe manned by a loyal crew and employed as a coast guardto discourage the pernicious art of smuggling. The collectoralso ventured to nominate one to whom the charge of theboat could be safely intrusted—a young man of Coralio，Felipe Carrera—not， be it understood， one of extremewisdom， but loyal and the best sailor along the coast.
It was upon this hint that the Minister of War acted，executing a rare piece of drollery that so enlivened thetedium of the executive session.
In the consultation of this small， maritime bananarepublic was a forgotten section that provided for themaintenance of a navy. This provision—with many otherwiser ones—had lain inert since the establishment of therepublic. Anchuria had no navy and had no use for one.
It was characteristic of Don Sabas—a man at once merry，learned， whimsical and audacious—that he should havedisturbed the dust of this musty and sleeping statute toincrease the humor of the world by so much as a smilefrom his indulgent colleagues.
With delightful mock seriousness the Minister of Warproposed the creation of a navy. He argued its need andthe glories it might achieve with such gay and witty zealthat the travesty overcame with its humor even the swartdignity of President Losada himself.
The champagne was bubbling trickily in the veins ofthe mercurial statesmen. It was not the custom of thegrave governors of Anchuria to enliven their sessions witha beverage so apt to cast a veil of disparagement oversober affairs. The wine had been a thoughtful complimenttendered by the agent of the Vesuvius Fruit Company asa token of amicable relations—and certain consummateddeals—between that company and the republic of Anchuria.
The jest was carried to its end. A formidable， officialdocument was prepared， encrusted with chromatic sealsand jaunty with fluttering ribbons， bearing the floridsignatures of state. This commission conferred upon elSenor Don Felipe Carrera the title of Flag Admiral ofthe Republic of Anchuria. Thus within the space of afew minutes and the dominion of a dozen “extra dry” thecountry took its place among the naval powers of theworld， and Felipe Carrera became entitled to a salute ofnineteen guns whenever he might enter port.
The southern races are lacking in that particular kindof humor that finds entertainment in the defects andmisfortunes bestowed by Nature. Owing to this defect intheir constitution they are not moved to laughter （as aretheir northern brothers） by the spectacle of the deformed，the feeble-minded or the insane.
Felipe Carrera was sent upon earth with but half his wits.
Therefore， the people of Coralio called him “El pobrecitoloco” the poor little crazed one—saying that God had sentbut half of him to earth， retaining the other half.
