“‘I ain’t through，’ says Smoke-’em-out. ‘Yesterday wasthe day for the advent of the auspicious personages. Igoes down to the depot to welcome ’em. Two apparentlyanimate substances gets off the train， both carrying bagsfull of croquet mallets and these magic lanterns withpushbuttons.
“I compares these integers with the original signaturesto the letters—and， well， gents， I reckon the mistake wasdue to my poor eyesight. Instead of being the Lieutenant，the daisy chain and wild verbena explorer was none otherthan Levi T. Peevy， a soda water clerk from Asheville. Andthe Duke of Marlborough turned out to be Theo. Drakeof Murfreesborough， a bookkeeper in a grocery. What didI do？ I kicked ’em both back on the train and watched ’emdepart for the lowlands， the low.
“‘Now you see the fix I’m in， gents，’ goes on Smoke-’emoutSmithers. ‘I told the ladies that the notorious visitorshad been detained on the road by some unavoidablecircumstances that made a noise like an ice jam and anheiress， but they would arrive a day or two later. Whenthey find out that they’ve been deceived，’ says Smoke-’emout，‘every yard of cross barred muslin and natural wavedswitch in the house will pack up and leave. It’s a hard deal，’
says old Smoke-’em-out.
“‘Friend，’ says Andy， touching the old man on theaesophagus， ‘why this jeremiad when the polar regionsand the portals of Blenheim are conspiring to hand youprosperity on a hall-marked silver salver. We have arrived.’
“A light breaks out on Smoke-’em-out’s face.
“‘Can you do it， gents？’ he asks. ‘Could ye do it？ Couldye play the polar man and the little duke for the niceladies？ Will ye do it？’
“I see that Andy is superimposed with his old hankeringfor the oral and polyglot system of buncoing. That manhad a vocabulary of about 10，000 words and synonyms，which arrayed themselves into contraband sophistries andparables when they came out.
“‘Listen，’ says Andy to old Smoke-’em-out. ‘Can we doit？ You behold before you， Mr. Smithers， two of the finestequipped men on earth for inveigling the proletariat，whether by word of mouth， sleight-of-hand or swiftnessof foot. Dukes come and go， explorers go and get lost，but me and Jeff Peters，’ says Andy， ‘go after the come-onsforever. If you say so， we’re the two illustrious guests youwere expecting. And you’ll find，’ says Andy， ‘that we’ll giveyou the true local color of the title roles from the auroraborealis to the ducal portcullis.’
“Old Smoke-’em-out is delighted. He takes me and Andyup to the inn by an arm apiece， telling us on the way thatthe finest fruits of the can and luxuries of the fast freightsshould be ours without price as long as we would stay.
“On the porch Smoke-’em-out says： ‘Ladies， I havethe honor to introduce His Gracefulness the Duke ofMarlborough and the famous inventor of the North Pole，Lieut. Peary.’
