登陆注册
25527900000167

第167章

I obeyed respectfully, and in less than one hour I had taken possession of my new quarters. Madame F---- told me how delighted she was to see that great affair ended according to her wishes, and I

answered with a deep reverence.

I found myself like the salamander, in the very heart of the fire for which I had been longing so ardently.

Almost constantly in the presence of Madame F----, dining often alone with her, accompanying her in her walks, even when M. D---- R-----

was not with us, seeing her from my room, or conversing with her in her chamber, always reserved and attentive without pretension, the first night passed by without any change being brought about by that constant intercourse. Yet I was full of hope, and to keep up my courage I imagined that love was not yet powerful enough to conquer her pride. I expected everything from some lucky chance, which I

promised myself to improve as soon as it should present itself, for I

was persuaded that a lover is lost if he does not catch fortune by the forelock.

But there was one circumstance which annoyed me. In public, she seized every opportunity of treating me with distinction, while, when we were alone, it was exactly the reverse. In the eyes of the world I had all the appearance of a happy lover, but I would rather have had less of the appearance of happiness and more of the reality. My love for her was disinterested; vanity had no share in my feelings.

One day, being alone with me, she said, "You have enemies, but I silenced them last night."

"They are envious, madam, and they would pity me if they could read the secret pages of my heart. You could easily deliver me from those enemies."

"How can you be an object of pity for them, and how could I deliver you from them?"

"They believe me happy, and I am miserable; you would deliver me from them by ill-treating me in their presence."

"Then you would feel my bad treatment less than the envy of the wicked?"

"Yes, madam, provided your bad treatment in public were compensated by your kindness when we are alone, for there is no vanity in the happiness I feel in belonging to you. Let others pity me, I will be happy on condition that others are mistaken."

"That's a part that I can never play."

I would often be indiscreet enough to remain behind the curtain of the window in my room, looking at her when she thought herself perfectly certain that nobody saw her; but the liberty I was thus guilty of never proved of great advantage to me. Whether it was because she doubted my discretion or from habitual reserve, she was so particular that, even when I saw her in bed, my longing eyes never could obtain a sight of anything but her head.

One day, being present in her room while her maid was cutting off the points of her long and beautiful hair, I amused myself in picking up all those pretty bits, and put them all, one after the other, on her toilettable, with the exception of one small lock which I slipped into my pocket, thinking that she had not taken any notice of my keeping it; but the moment we were alone she told me quietly, but rather too seriously, to take out of my pocket the hair I had picked up from the floor. Thinking she was going too far, and such rigour appearing to me as cruel as it was unjust and absurd, I obeyed, but threw the hair on the toilet-table with an air of supreme contempt.

"Sir, you forget yourself."

"No, madam, I do not, for you might have feigned not to have observed such an innocent theft."

"Feigning is tiresome."

"Was such petty larceny a very great crime?"

"No crime, but it was an indication of feelings which you have no right to entertain for me."

"Feelings which you are at liberty not to return, madam, but which hatred or pride can alone forbid my heart to experience. If you had a heart you would not be the victim of either of those two fearful passions, but you have only head, and it must be a very wicked head, judging by the care it takes to heap humiliation upon me. You have surprised my secret, madam, you may use it as you think proper, but in the meantime I have learned to know you thoroughly. That knowledge will prove more useful than your discovery, for perhaps it will help me to become wiser."

After this violent tirade I left her, and as she did not call me back retired to my room. In the hope that sleep would bring calm, I

undressed and went to bed. In such moments a lover hates the object of his love, and his heart distils only contempt and hatred. I could not go to sleep, and when I was sent for at supper-time I answered that I was ill. The night passed off without my eyes being visited by sleep, and feeling weak and low I thought I would wait to see what ailed me, and refused to have my dinner, sending word that I was still very unwell. Towards evening I felt my heart leap for joy when I heard my beautiful lady-love enter my room. Anxiety, want of food and sleep, gave me truly the appearance of being ill, and I was delighted that it should be so. I sent her away very soon, by telling her with perfect indifference that it was nothing but a bad headache, to which I was subject, and that repose and diet would effect a speedy cure.

But at eleven o'clock she came back with her friend, M. D---- R-----, and coming to my bed she said, affectionately, "What ails you, my poor Casanova?"

"A very bad headache, madam, which will be cured to-morrow."

"Why should you wait until to-morrow? You must get better at once.

I have ordered a basin of broth and two new-laid eggs for you."

"Nothing, madam; complete abstinence can alone cure me."

"He is right," said M. D---- R-----, "I know those attacks."

I shook my head slightly. M. D---- R----- having just then turned round to examine an engraving, she took my hand, saying that she would like me to drink some broth, and I felt that she was giving me a small parcel. She went to look at the engraving with M. D----

R-----.

I opened the parcel, but feeling that it contained hair, I hurriedly concealed it under the bed-clothes: at the same moment the blood rushed to my head with such violence that it actually frightened me.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 开天造物

    开天造物

    传说,在宇宙还未重归混沌之前,有一个美丽如同神话一般的世界。这里灵气充裕,万物共生!
  • 校园至尊王

    校园至尊王

    当谢文东拥有了魔神的力量会怎样?凌飞将会告诉你!凌飞的志向不是一统黑道,那太小孩子气了,不是成为高官,那限制太多了,不好玩!他的想法其实很简单,那就是成为一个自由自在的有钱有势的人!他没有一统黑道,但是整个天下的黑道唯他马首是瞻,他一介平民,但偌大的官场任他纵横!很牛叉的凌飞刚开始的时候其实只是一个普通的不能普通的高中生,但当那股神秘的力量苏醒以后,一切都变了,从此以后……香车宝马,美女萦绕!黑道商界,任他纵横!整个天地,唯我独尊!
  • 懒妃当宠之权色天下

    懒妃当宠之权色天下

    她前世是特工,一个跟头栽下去成了几个月大的婴儿,从此只能衣来伸手饭来张口;她懒惰无比,需要动心思的事情,她从来都是简单粗暴的解决;她是新月王朝尊贵无比的郡主,却是传闻中命不久矣的病秧子;她是江湖中令人闻风丧胆的毒医,救人杀人只凭一念之间。传闻中如此不堪的她,却不知不觉便招来一朵朵掐不死的桃花,深不可测的王爷,温柔的皇子,火爆的宗门少主,这可把她的三个哥哥忙坏了,而她却在一边清闲看戏,偶尔添一两把火,小日子过得有滋有味。【情节虚构,请勿模仿】
  • 从政录

    从政录

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 仙将魔兵

    仙将魔兵

    杯中世界,皆为幻影,我欲成仙,只征归途。一花一世界,一杯万花开,小世界中的孤儿,执念成仙,只为见家人一面,且看孤儿如何乘风破浪,统一仙魔两界,成就无量之身!
  • 幻世纪之王

    幻世纪之王

    我叫0081,是一名流浪汉,0081只不过是我的代号,以前在我身上发生了什么我完全不知道,但我知道的是,我的命运可能就可能在同意这个女人的邀请后,变的完全不同。。。
  • 称雄战记

    称雄战记

    一个落魄的B大博士生,一个意外的机会在异界重生。从此开始了他的称雄生涯.......
  • 这是个秘密

    这是个秘密

    一个神秘的大学,一群奇葩的学生,一些不为人知的秘密跟传说,让几个少年成长非常。很多故事只是写手对未知世界的探索。我也在探索关于K大学,它的秘密。一份古地图,七个标注地,什么是突破桎浩?什么又是一图两画?谜题,需要我们共同揭晓。
  • 为记忆竖起碑

    为记忆竖起碑

    青春的岁月里。一个面带微笑的少年,在底层中,一步一步攀爬。或者,挣扎着。
  • 冷残欢:千金丞相万金爱妻

    冷残欢:千金丞相万金爱妻

    她是万千宠爱于一身的丞相之女,却一心只为他,十四年她从执着到心碎,当箭入胸口,她却已心如死灰。悬崖一跃,她在死亡边缘重生,凤凰浴火,曾经内敛的光芒势必将颠倒众生。